cian's dolls

Dennis descending into despair.

I almost forgot he's the same character who used to cut, because I don't have bandaids on this body (his old body had it on the arms) and I never did make the scars on his lower arms cos I'm just lazy, but when I think of despairing, and just really down thoughts, Dennis seem like the best doll to photograph for such emotions.

Sometimes I wonder how he could have gotten out of that period in his life if he didn't meet Nat. Why is it that often in stories or songs, people need someone else to bring them out of something? To be the first person to finally see who they are? Can't they do it themselves? Is it actually impossible, or are we just used to using another person being our savior that we give ourselves excuses to continue dwelling where we are? I'm inclined to think it's actually near impossible to help ourselves out on some days when I'm down, but I'll also like to think it might be possible to do it ourselves because ...well, maybe I just like to think it's doable. Because to trust someone to bring you out of your state requires, well, trust. Trust that I'd think Dennis won't have much of in anybody other than himself. And yet it's Nat who eventually helps him get out of it. I can't really understand how that works... Or maybe I'm just being overly pessimistic because sometimes, even jaded people take a leap of faith. I just don't really think it'll be so lucky sometimes. Oh well.

And I'm getting rusty with my photography skills. Especially using manual mode which I do for doll photography